NOSEBLOODS

why the hell am i posting in english? i must be feeling one of them negative emotions again.

i ramble, i ramble, and then i go back to my chair to try and stir up emotions other than the general disgust i am feeling right now.

over there are my *pantzillas, looking mean (and by mean, i mean unkind). i think it would much rather be the upholstery on my great sofa than come into contact with my butt when i'm having one of those water retaining moments... which just happens to be everyday, nowadays.

i want to stuff my face with whatever the hell it was i cooked last night but my pantzillas are snickering, taunting me to go right ahead.

i will not let pantzillas win.

i look outside to admire the weeds in my backyard and i see them, my *pantysauruses, blowing in the wind, safely dangling on the laundry clips i bought the other month to prevent this from ever happening again.

i flick through webpage after webpage of my college friends' facebooks... bloody idiots are keeping thin. how could they do this to me? asswipes.

i check my numbers on the lottery. nope, dream house in the bahamas will have to be postponed for later. again.

nothing is going my way.

i open the refrigerator and immediately the friendly faces of chocolate bars and last night's dinner are waving at me.

i stuff pantzillas in the laundry.

it must never know that it's won. again.

xXx

pantzillas - trousers with more fabric than your winter curtains
pantysaurus - granny panties. remember not to get into them if you're planning a night of hanky panky.